


maybe i'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

by neokoma



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, just pure angst, theyre 23
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29214576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neokoma/pseuds/neokoma
Summary: just like how icarus flew too close to the sun, kageyama had fallen too deep for hinata. he went too close, he loved too much, until their wings started to evanesce, until hinata didn’t love him anymore.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 9





	maybe i'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

**Author's Note:**

> just like how icarus flew too close to the sun, kageyama had fallen too deep for hinata. he went too close, he loved too much, until their wings started to evanesce, until hinata didn’t love him anymore.

kageyama hates hinata. he hates the low gruff in hinata’s voice when he told kageyama he didn’t love him anymore. he hates the way hinata was looking up at him, the way his eyes shined under the moonlight as always, the way his eyes displayed only hatred and disgust directed towards _him_. towards kageyama. the same eyes that used to look at him like he hung the stars in the sky. the eyes that used to look at him with longing, with undying affection, with burning love and desire.

it’s funny how things can change so abruptly in the span of 7 years. _actually, it’s not that funny_ , kageyama thinks. he didn’t think things would change. he didn’t think _hinata’s feelings for him_ would change. now that he thinks about it, 7 years is a long time, this was bound to happen somewhere along the way. it was inevitable for hinata’s feelings to die. it _has_ been 7 years, after all. kageyama just hadn’t thought to prepare himself for the agony that was coming, too lost in hinata’s warm, auburn eyes, too immersed in the light that hinata had brought into his life. it never once occurred to him that hinata could leave and bring the light with him, away from kageyama.

and yet, here he was. kneeling over a bench at the train station at two in the morning, with his head caged between his arms and facing downwards, at the very spot hinata had left him exactly one year ago. he’d barely realised a whole year had passed since that fateful day. 365 days have passed without talking to hinata, without his hinata-flavoured kisses, without his hinata-shaped hugs—

he can’t stop the tears streaming down his face. he just misses hinata more and more everyday and feels like complete, utter shit. he keeps coming back to this place, and for what? he just hopes to feel the ghost of hinata’s presence here, even though a whole year has passed. he just wants to replay every last moment of them together, disregarding the pain it brings him every time. people tell him he should forget about hinata, move on with his life. he’s in his early 20s, there’s so many things he hasn’t experienced yet. but the thing is, he doesn’t _want_ to move on, he just wants to keep remembering hinata. the boy who stole his heart, merged it with his own, letting their hearts become one. but he was also the very same boy who later trampled on their merged hearts, breaking them into a million little pieces. and kageyama could do nothing but watch him.

he was so in love with hinata. and hinata was so in love with him, too. he could tell by the look in his eyes and the gentle of his touch when it was just the two of them, alone, together. so _why?_ why did hinata leave him with no explanation? sure, he reasoned that he didn’t love kageyama anymore. but why? what did kageyama do to make hinata hate him? where did he go wrong? he’s left weeping intensely in the chill of the dark night, wondering why he wasn’t good enough. they were so _happy_ together.

or was that just another illusion his mind fed him? was he being delusional? was hinata pretending to be happy all this time? even if that were true, if kageyama was being honest, it didn’t matter all that much to him, because at least one of them was happy. he knows it’s selfish of him to think so but that’s what he tends to do. he tends to throw his entire moral compass away whenever hinata is involved.

why did hinata have to change his mind just when kageyama had finally found someone he truly loved, someone he sought comfort from? no matter how many questions he asked, he had answers to none of them. the only person who _could_ answer was now far, far away from him. he was out of his reach.

the sound of hinata’s voice saying his given name, tobio, kept replaying in his mind like a broken record. the sound of his laughter, the sound of his cries, the sound of his playful whispers of sweet nothings in kageyama’s ears, the sound of his scream when they went to a haunted house, the sound of his whines whenever kageyama broke off from a kiss, the sound of his off-key singing over the radio in the car... they were all engraved in kageyama’s mind, and there was no saving him. he’s stuck here, at this train station in the middle of the night, crying about his ex-boyfriend. and he doesn’t think he can move forward. not without hinata. because there’s no way in hell anyone else could send electricity coursing through his veins the same way hinata does.

just like how icarus flew too close to the sun, kageyama had fallen too deep for hinata. he went too close, he loved too much, until their wings started to evanesce, until hinata didn’t love him anymore.

just like how icarus fell into the sea and drowned, the same fate had befallen kageyama. he was drowning, because he never learned how to swim, he never thought he would have a reason to. he never thought he would have a reason to learn how to live without hinata.

and he still longs for hinata’s warm embrace in the harsh, cold night. every single time.


End file.
